Fragile

Where is it, where is it?

You’re stupid..

Susan’s throat tightened and she nervously nipped her bottom lip as she kept searching through the odds and ends on her father’s desk.

So pathetic…

“Have you found it yet?” her mother called out from the kitchen.

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as she hastened her search, trying to blink away the tears.

Why can’t I find it? Why is it so hard for me to find things but easy for everyone else?

She heard her father cough from her parents bedroom and froze, her heart starting to pound in her chest as she braced herself for the sharp yelling that would ensue because she hadn’t been able to find it fast enough.

Why don’t you use your brain? her father’s taunting voice from past experiences echoed around in her mind. The answers are so obvious yet you refuse to look!

Her breath becoming shallow as tears started sliding down her cheeks, Susan started looking again, this time trying to be as quiet as possible to avoid attracting her father’s attention.

“Susan?”

Susan squeezed her eyes shut and flinched as she heard her mother’s voice moving closer, meaning her mother was coming in her direction.

See? her father’s voice again taunted her in her mind. You’re slow, weak, useless. You get so caught up in dream world that you never get anything done!!!!

She pressed her fists into her eyes as she slowly sank to the floor, tears flowing freely. Why am I so damn stupid!? she berated herself. Why do I keep disappointing my parents? What is wrong with me? Why is it when I try the hardest to get things right, everything goes wrong?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is just a one-shot, I’m not going to go anywhere else with it. And don’t worry, I’m okay, just trying to sort through some childhood memories and figure some stuff out.

COPYRIGHT

All novels, short stories and poems on this blog are the work of @rue202 and Racheal’s Novels. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without the express and written permission of the author is strictly forbidden. You may use excerpts and links or reblogs of this material provided that complete and clear credit is given to rue202 and Racheal’s Novels with clear directions to the original content.

6 thoughts on “Fragile

  1. I find that the more stressed you are when you’re looking for something, the harder it is to find that thing.
    As a kid, whenever something was lost, I was unable to do anything else until that thing was found. Lord, was that challenging. But, it did teach me to pay attention to things.

  2. My father said
    to me as a child

    you are nothing
    you won’t become anything
    you go to jail
    or in a psychiatric institution

    he was not entirely wrong
    i am anyway
    become an old man

      1. Good day

        My father
        came with
        my nature
        not right

        i was him
        as a child
        a constant
        provocation

        he wanted
        what to himself
        the truth was

        in me
        transplanted
        know him

        still today
        he fights
        in me
        against me
        in my dreams

        with my mother
        together

        as if i were them
        the punishment of God
        been

        in their life
        in the extended family
        as a child

        Best regards
        Hans Gamma

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: