Welcome to all my new followers!
Previous books in the Azren Chronicles:
- The Azren Chronicles: The Trouble with Pies (And Why they Are Necessary)
- The Azren Chronicles: Winter Kill
- Nine Lives
This is just a comedic one-shot set after Winter Kill and before the next novel in the Azren Chronicles. The previous blogger cast – bottomlesscoffee007, Racquel, J-M’s History Corner, Britchy, and myself – shall be returning and I will be introducing three new bloggers into the series in this story:
There will be other bloggers introduced into the Azren Chronicles, but they won’t be introduced in this story.
Anyway, grab hold of yer hats and buckle up for a great laugh (I hope)!
A few months after the epilogue to Winter Kill…
“So…why are we doing this?” Britchy asked as she climbed out of the SUV.
“Because,” Rue replied, climbing out after Britchy on the same side that she climbed out of, “while me and Jones have fully recovered from the fight with the aliens, you guys had to deal with all the missions that came in while Jones and I were recovering and it got extremely stressful trying to deal with everything.”
“Yes,” Bond conceded, “But you and Jones have recovered now. You two are able to help out now.”
Jones nodded. “Absolutely. But some of us could – and likely will – get injured again, or worse. And it could be even more than just me and Rue. It could be all of us. Which is why we are expanding, recruiting more people so that we won’t be so short-handed like we were while we were recovering.”
Bond nodded. “Smart plan,” he agreed.
“Pity Racquel couldn’t join us,” Britchy remarked.
“Yeah. But she’s been dealing with that Travoleta case for the past two months, and she has acquired solid evidence to keep her client out of jail, so hopefully that’ll be the end of that case,” Rue replied as they went over to the front of the building and Rue opened the door. The others all walked in and looked around.
“Boxing ring,” Britchy mused. “Good place to start looking for recruits.”
“We hope,” Jones muttered under his breath, watching as some boxers tried to beat each other unconscious. Hope at least ONE of them has brains as well as brawn.
NONE of them did.
Rue cradled her head in her hands as she let out a frustrated groan. Sure, they were all well-built and would be excellent when they needed muscle on any of their missions. And they could think on their feet – when it comes to fighting. But ALL the people whom the ring’s owner had recommended to her had quite the high brain-skill, out-of-the-box thinking level that they were after.
With a sigh, she wearily raised her eyes – and only her eyes – toward the ring’s owner, who was looking like he was in an extremely awkward position. I suppose he would be, Rue thought. After all, these men are highly acclaimed and us ‘heroes’ as he calls us are turning them down. “Would you mind if we,” and she motioned to Bond, Jones and Britchy (who were standing nearby), “went and looked at the rest of the boxers?” We’ll be more likely to find what we want that way.
The owner hastily nodded, no doubt relieved that he didn’t have to embarrass himself with his recommendations anymore. “Yes, of course,” and he pointed to his office door. “Just go out that way and turn left. You can watch the boxers at work and pick what you will.”
“Alright,” Rue sighed. She turned to the others. “Let’s go.”
“Well, that was a waste of time,” Jones muttered as he adjusted his coat before heading out the front door after the others.
“Yeah…sorry about that, guys,” Rue apologized.
“Rue, girl, chill,” Bond said as he fished out the car keys from his pocket. “You had no way of knowing how it would turn out and part of recruiting means that you have to go through several people and eliminate them before you find the right one or ones. So, don’t sweat it.”
Rue nodded, conceding that point, as Bond pressed a button on his key chain and with a beep the car doors unlocked and they all piled in. “Who wants a drink?” she offered, turning sideways in her seat to look at the others. Everyone chorused in agreement to that. “Alright, then. Let’s go.”
“So,” Britchy said as she put down her drink and leaned back in her chair, “why don’t we put out an advertisement about the recruitment and let everyone who’s interested come down and we can try them out? That way, we don’t have to go around the galaxy searching. They’ll come to us.”
Rue bit into her chocolate doughnut. “Good idea,” she mumbled with her mouth full, “but,” she continued after swallowing her food, “that also gives away to any baddies that are quite possibly trying to track us down where we are. Even if we do it at a location other than where we live, it’ll give them a chance to try and get rid of us. So, I think it’s best that we do the searching ourselves.”
Jones shrugged. He opened his mouth to say something when the door to the Cafe opened and someone walked in. Rue, out of cautionary habit, glanced up at the new person…then choked on her doughnut. Bond reached over and slapped her very hard on the back until she stopped choking.
“What’s the matter?” Bond asked.
“That…” Rue rasped, trying to regain her breath, before grabbing a glass of water out of Britchy’s hand and gulped it down. Ignoring the plotting-madness look that Britchy was now sporting, Rue set the glass down and took a deep breath. “That guy,” and she pointed with her thumb over to the new guy who had just walked over to the counter and was perusing the options. “I know him.”
Jones looked over at the guy. “Me, too. He’s…oh, what was his name?” Jones closed his eyes as he tried to recall the man’s name.
Then Rue snapped her fingers. “It’s John! Haven’t seen him in years! I wonder what he’s been up to?” She recalled, muttering the last sentence as she pushed her chair back and stood up, making her way over to him just as the checkout lady handed him his order of chicken nuggets and fries.
He happened to look up at that moment and spot her. “Hey!” he called out, raising his arm in greeting. “How have you been, Rue?” he said, coming over and giving her a hug.
“Hey, weirdo,” she joked, returning the hug.
“I’m not a weirdo, I’m John,” he quipped.
“Ugh!” Rue groaned, stifling a chuckle, as they pulled away. “You really need to come up with a new line.”
“Nuh uh,” John retorted.
“Are you two really going to act like children in public?” Jones deadpanned from behind Rue.
John pointed at Rue with a mock-pout. “But she started it!”
“Dude! Have you even read your Bible?” a new voice said from behind. Everyone participating in this conversation all turned and saw a young girl who looked about Rue’s age standing there, a hand on her hip, shaking her head at John. “It’s says ‘Turn the other cheek’.”
John simply leaned back against the counter. “I’ve already turned both my cheeks to her ages ago, Lydia,” he replied. “And I’ve only got two to go around. She has never followed that simple instruction once when it comes to me.”
Rue rolled her eyes and turned to the girl, Lydia Potter. “Tell John that he really needs to come up with a new line,” she said with a mock-sigh. “He listens to you.”
John turned to Rue and stuck out his tongue. Lydia face-palmed. “Y’all are a mess,” she muttered and then pulled out her phone. “Aunt Jay just texted that she’s finished the shopping and will be here in a few minutes.” She then gave Rue and John pointed looks. “So behave, children.”
John and Rue sighed. “Yes, ma’am,” they said in unison.
A few hours later, back at the farm…
Rue collapsed onto the couch, clutching her sides. Lydia had been doing a video for her YouTube channel and first Rue had joined in.
Let’s just say…it was explosive.
“I’m…so…s…sorry-hahahahaha!!!” Jay attempted to apologise to an indignant Lydia, but just ended up in a heap on the floor, laughing her head off.
John went over to Lydia and draped an arm around her shoulder. “I must apologise for these goofballs. They were never taught any manners.” He then leaned down and whispered loudly into Lydia’s ear: “They’re practically cavemen.”
Lydia face-palmed as she cracked up laughing while Rue and Jay assaulted John with pillows.
As they watched the ensuing pillow fight, Bond leaned over to Jones and whispered: “Are they always this…unusual?”
Jones nodded with a mock-remorseful expression. “They’ve actually done worse,” he whispered back. He then turned to Bond. “How are we going to stop this?”
Bond groaned and leaned against the wall. “I dunno know if that’s even possible,” he muttered with a shrug. “You know them. You think of a way. I’m going to go outside and feed the horses.”
“I’m coming with you,” Jones said, quickly pushing himself off of the wall and following Bond out the back, hot on his heels.
I really feel like I ought to point this out before we go any further that me, John, Lydia, and Jay are like an insanely dynamic family, so will probably act like this whenever we get to meet face-to-face. We are THAT weird😄
I had also planned to show Jay, Lydia and John being drafted into our little heroes gang thingy (I really need to come up with a name for our group) and giving them code names, but when trying to write that down in a one-shot wasn’t working – it didn’t feel natural with this story that I’ve published, wasn’t flowing correctly and was getting all convoluted, so thought I’d save it for the next Azren Chronicles story that I do.
So, I hope that you all enjoyed this…attempt at comedy (Oh, and I wasn’t bashing or making fun of boxers in this story – in fact, I admire them and what they do).
Have a great day/night!
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