As Fleeting As Smoke

Sorry that I haven’t been writing stories very much lately. Been caught up with a lot of things. I’m hoping to remedy that and write more. Please forgive me.


January 3rd

Dear Diary,

I don’t know where to begin.

I’m just really frustrated. With everything.

With my job.

With my friends.

But most of all myself.

And I guess that’s the core of the problem – I’m so frustrated with my inability to learn and to constantly be an idiot, that I take it out on everyone else and act like their the problem, when all along the problem is me – and I’m just trying to run from it.

I don’t get it.

I used to love what I do. I used to be popular. I’d love talking with people who loved what I did, how unique I did it, how I refused to compromise.

Then I compromised.

I don’t know why – I think the fame and everything got to my head. But as soon as I compromised, as soon as I stepped away from the core, the essence of me with my job…everything spiraled down hill.

It was like no-one wanted to anything to do with me anymore.

And it took me too long to realize my dreadful mistake.

That I shouldn’t be concerned about my fame.

What I should be focused on is doing what I love, the way I love it, without giving a bloody shit about how others thought about what I was doing.

But instead I got too caught up in the world’s way.

And when I changed and went back to myself, it was too late. People had found out; found that I had become tainted.

And that has ruined me. While I no longer care what people say or think, for some reason, when I do that which I love…it…it’s like the spark has gone out of me; like I no longer care about what I’m doing. And I don’t get why. Am I too nervous, you know, ‘once-bitten-twice-shy’ type deal, after this sobering lesson? It’s really got me worried. Or is it the fact that I know the quality of what I do has seriously declined from what it used to be?

For once, I wish my life was like one of those cheesy movie flicks.

At least then I know that my life would be going the way it should have gone.

[Image found on the Internet]


All novels and short stories on this blog are the works of @rue202 and Racheal’s Novels Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without the express and written permission of the author is strictly not allowed. You may use excerpts and links or reblogs of this material provided that complete and clear credit is given to rue202 and Racheal’s Novels with clear directions to the original content.

12 thoughts on “As Fleeting As Smoke

  1. We all at some point allow things to get in the way of the simple joy of our being. We take on esthetics that are cumbersome distorting our originality. You will get your spark back Rue, it’s still in you!
    Love and kisses 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL, this is embarrassing…
      This was just a short story I wrote in diary form – not meant to be me. I forgot to add a note at the start that it was just a story!


    1. It’s good, though I would recommend dividing it into chapters as some people have trouble or lose focus when it comes to really long posts like The Last Triad. I couldn’t finish it as it was so long, so would recommend dividing it into chapters. Otherwise, it seemed quite good.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you very much
        Yes I thought about diving it
        But at some point I didn’t manage to do it
        Thanks for checking it out

        Liked by 1 person

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